When life gets tough, do the tough really get going?

More than thirty years ago, well into my adult life, some big curve balls were thrown at me.

My first baby died at birth. The umbilical cord was around his neck, as my first pregnancy with inconsistent contractions, the doctors being less than attentive, became the cause of death. As I was waiting for the surge of contractions to arrive, time went on, and not much was happening. My husband and I knew that something was wrong, so he walked down to the nurse’s station to ask for someone to check on me.

Once the nurse walked in, I could see in her face before she even came next to me that there was an issue. I had no idea what it was. But I did sense the urgency. In a matter of moments, I was rushed into a room, aided by some drugs to induce the labor – as quick as possible. 36 hours later, our first son was born, but not alive. As death stared us in the face, we were silenced by the pain.

How does a young woman – and man, face such a devastating loss? Some reach out to drink to erase the pain. Others stuff the pain down through busyness and activity. Some get angry and bitter. But the way to stay whole, can only be through the beautiful grace of Christ.

As I held this perfect beautiful baby in my arms, he was wrapped securely in a warm baby blanket, my heart had felt love like never before. At that moment, my heart, soul and mind were one with God. The One Creator of all things. I spoke from my heart to his, and said I didn’t understand this, but I would trust him with all my life and everything in it.

As I am in edit mode with my first book that shares many losses I have lived through, God has been my source of love and hope.

FOREVER HOPE will be coming out last spring, with the focus on helping those who grieve, who need hope and a Savior that is closer than we can imagine. All we need to do is reach out to him.